I just had the pleasure of listening to Abby Seixas, author of Finding the Deep River Within: A Woman’s Guide to Recovering Balance & Meaning in Everyday Life speak to a training call for the Retreat Coach Network. She talked about the way in which our current society does not give wo(men) the chance to drop down into a slower mode and listen to their lives. She invited us to use the tools she has identified that will empower us to listen more deeply including: befriending feelings, taking ” time-in”, taming expectations and others.
Taming expectations is something that really hit me. I feel that through the years of my growth I have learned to expect less and be overjoyed at what showed up. For me, this is not about settling for less. It’s about accepting what is and making what is happening right. It’s about not getting ahead of myself. It’s about not over-committing.
As a Women’s Coach, I have been talking with women all week who want to do less and add in more spaciousness for this holiday season. They want to enjoy the space of time off during the upcomingadjusted holiday schedule to not be full of endless lists of appointments, tasks and “to-do’s”.
A good place to start is to talk with your partner, family and friends about what you want for this December winter season. See who will appreciate and participate in doing things differently.
Consider these three possible conversations:
- Can we talk about the holidays and how to make things for our celebrations easier?
- I would like to have less things on my To-Do List. Can you help me brainstorm this? (or just name what you will/will not do)
- Something I would love to let go of is_____________ Are you ok with that?
Helene Van Manen is a woman with a lot of energy but she values her time walking in ponderosa forests, writing in her journal each day, and listening to the sound of her wood stove crackle. She recently recommitted to not over-committing and no one around her perished.